The Lost Years

Many of you have been asking me what I was doing during the lost years. Many stories abound, some true, some not so true. I did, in fact, spend several months of the first half of this decade as an endangered white tiger in Siegfried and Roy's acclaimed magic act at the Mirage in Las Vegas. What, you thought those were real tigers? No, look closely, those are people in tiger suits. I used to be one of them. And let me tell you, that is no easy way to earn a dollar. I played a tiger called Mantra. And before you ask, no, I was not the one that nearly bit Roy Horn's head off on October 3rd, 2003. That cat was one crazy MF named Marty Banks. He was a wildman. I often wondered how he ever got hired in the first place. He played a lot of pranks backstage, most of which involved various objects bursting into flame or even exploding. No one suspected that he was going to try to bite the bossman's head off. He just about succeeded. It was a real show stopper. Everyone was fired when the show went on hiatus. They've hired a whole new crew now, and a new HR person. I've heard it's much different now.