All Religions Say Basically The Same Thing

That all life on earth originated from spores brought here by a group of insect-like extraterrestrial creatures. That if you had a telescope strong enough to see to the edge of the universe, what you would see when you looked through it would be the back of your own head. That when you break any object in the universe down to its irreducible parts, those parts are completely lacking in heft and girth and are best described as pure energy. That the poor are the salt of the earth, and too much salt can kill you. That any god that can be killed, ought to be killed. That the first word ever uttered on Earth was an exhortation yelped out in panic in response to some terrifying event, that some psychotropic substance was probably involved, and that is why we never give LSD to monkeys. One talking species on the planet is gracious plenty. That we are all in good hands, which also means that you can’t get ahead, you can’t lose, and you can’t break even. That I was made for loving you baby, and you were made for loving me.