Slow time

Slow day today. You know once, a long time ago, I saw a commercial on the TV for an overnight laxative. It showed people waking up in the morning feeling just fantastic, accompanied by the chorus of the Arlo Guthrie classic folk tune "The City of New Orleans." You know the line: "Good morning, America, how are you?" Well, I have always liked that song and thought it was a little sad to hear it used to push laxatives. But of course I was intrigued by the challange of composing a few more verses of the hypothetical constipation-themed version. I am particularly proud of the way I managed to come up with a rhyme for the word "beltline".

Well I’m more backed up than the I-440 beltline.
There’s a train inside me but it ain’t about to move.
And you’ve done dropped yours but I ain’t even smelt mine.
It ain’t funny boys, I can’t get in to the groove.

I don’t care if I mess my pants, I’d settle for some flatulence,
Did I really need to drink five pints of beer?
Some water would be fine by me, a bowl of bran flakes, some broccoli
Suppositories…just let me be free and clear.

Good Morning America how are ya?!
Me I’ve seen better days on the dark side of a war.
I’m in pain and I blame an irritated membrane.
I’ll have gone 500 times when the day is done.