Suggestion

If you happen to be in the Whole Foods on Elliot Rd. in Chapel Hill anytime soon, check the bulletin board for my fake complaint. If I don't make the bulletin board, at least it will give the worker bees in the back a good chuckle:

The only thing more congested than the flow of chi in your establishment is the traffic flow in the parking lot. The electro-magnetic fields emanating from the automatic doors make me dizzy as I walk in and then things just go completely downhill. Most of the men in the meat department suffer from acute ego calcifications and need psycho/spiritual cleansing. One of the checkout ladies has an aura of such a lurid shade of pink that I often nearly keel over. Particularly upsetting are the times when I can not locate a current issue of “Living Without” magazine. I attribute these imbalances to your fetishistic reliance on linear and dimensional totemic modalities. I hope that soon you are able to establish cohesion and balance, both for my sake and the sake of the planet.